Setting the Universe to rights in a few easy steps…

Star Trek: Whose the best Captain? Hell, that’s an unnecessary question if I ever heard one.

Okay, going from best to worst (and btw, take a look at my blog name and gravatar if you’re not sure what way I’m going to go here).

If your sensibilities towards your favourite captain are easily offended and you get mad if someone is rude about them, (I know I do, hehe.) then I suggest you either stop reading right now or bear in mind that this is my opinion and I am entitled to it, and keep reading. And my opinion is right. 😉

1: Janeway. The best captain. Tough, courageous, intelligent, gutsy, charismatic, confident, daring, unorthodox, intuitive, noble, protective, a natural leader, justifiably brash, and she practically bleeds authority. She even has rough edges, like arrogance, stubbornness, and a touch too much self-assurance on occasion. Much like real people have flaws. Not to mention that the real-life woman Kate Mulgrew is the best actor out of the lot of them by a considerable order of magnitude. The best captain, hands fucking down. Also, and this is coming from a heterosexual woman, she’s the best looking one of the lot of them.

(Insult HUGE GAP here between 1 and the rest of the list, similar to the kinds of gulfs that separate galaxies in this immense universe we live in). I think that illustrates how strongly I feel about this matter.

2: Original Series/movies Kirk. This lad’s got some pizzazz, he’s ballsy and brave. Still, I have some questions over his ability to keep any member of his crew not on the senior staff alive…

3: Picard. This man’s way to soft for my liking. Not what I want or expect from my science fiction heroes. Being cerebral is fine and admirable, but I want some badass attitude and some pizzazz as well as that. This guy has NIL, nadda. He doesn’t exhibit forcefulness often enough, which is a shame, because when he does, he’s a real leader, reaching similar heights to Janeway and Kirk. Sure, he’s a professional, but at the cost of his guts. Just tell the Romulans to go to hell man, they do the same to you! Grrrrrrrr. He may be third on my list, but he is certainly second in terms of acting ability. The real life man, Patrick Stewart, is almost at good as Mulgrew in the believability department.

4: Kirk from the new movie. Yup, he’s perhaps a bit young, but he’s got a style and method all his own, which is quickly established in the movie. I think Chris Pine gave a fine performance. Although he does get beaten up a bit too much for my liking. I thought he had advanced combat training? Sheesh. You don’t see Janeway and Picard having their asses handed to them, they’re usually the ones delivering the punishment when necessary. Also, Pine is the second best looking one of the bunch.

5: Archer. He’s to easily led, is easily offended and loses his temper WAY to easily.

6: Sisko. Wow, what a fucking dick. He’s a whiner and skin-peelingly annoying, he looks so miserable most of the time I would reach inside the screen and give him a hug if I didn’t think he was such an idiot. There’s simmering, and then there’s just being a complete arse. He is the latter. However, I have nothing against Avery Brooks, for the record. He seems like a nice guy. If I don’t like a character I’m not going to hold it against their real-life counterpart. That’s just deeply weird.

Case closed.

Voyager out.

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